The days are nice. Start early, garden or go to sprouthouse or have day off. Break for all three meals. In free time, sit around and read (I have been borrowing a lot of books), go to town, sauna, women's sundeck, stone labryinth, hot tub, talk to people, go to temple. I have loads of alone time and still get to interact with people throughout the day. I like the all-raw-ness. I don't know what the point of cooking is at this point, besides that it is convenient because it is there sometimes, at home. And that can be reason enough, but gastronomically, there is no reason. The chefs here can make anything taste fabulous to the standard eater. (Though personally I miss my plain veggies).
I ended my liquid fast today, after my colonic. I was really impressed. After five days (six 24-hr periods, really) of only water, wheatgrass, green juice, herbal tea, stevia lemonade and limited fruit juice (occasionally there are small amounts in the cafe, not very sweet), I had gotten all the calories and nutrients, but none of the fiber. Yet a ton of matter still came out, mostly bizarre compacted pieces. A few were black, which tends to be meat. I haven't had meat in eleven years! Accidental lard or chicken broth, maybe, but not meat. So I went from skeptic to convert. Maybe the body would eventually get rid of this on its own, but some help sure doesn't hurt. Now I believe what she said, that people juice fasting for 21 days would still have a lot of junk come out.
It also made me think about my past behavior a lot. Meat will stay in your system and make you sick in your heart and gut (heart disease, colon cancer)--that's karma right there. As a high school sophomore, I would have french fries everyday for lunch. Sometimes Airheads or other candy, if I had the money. I am so disgusted by how I mistreated my poor body--but I also have compassion for that person. She did not know how to experience her body. The only thing I did right was trust my intuition when it screamed, which I suppose was enough to keep me going through those years. And now I'm finally cleaning house.
There is a new doctor here, a classically trained MD. I asked him what he thought of certain things. He pointed out for the colonics, that even if not a lot of junk comes out, cleaning the colon will get the lymph to move, which will clean out the liver. That was nice to hear, that the effects are greater than the actual removal of matter itself.
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I finished "Eat, Pray, Love". It was a fun, easy read. Next I have "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm, which looks fantastic. He is a psychoanalyst that actually cares about important issues. He has some interesting discussion about discipline. Rigid and authoritarian discipline has made many people suspicious of this concept, understandably so, yet we miss out on so much if we are unable to discipline ourselves:
"It is essential... that discipline should not be practiced like a rule imposed on oneself from the outside, but that it becomes an expression of one's own will; that it is felt as pleasant, and that one slowly accustoms oneself to a kind of behavior which one would eventually miss, if one stopped practicing it. It is one of the unfortunate aspects of our Western concept of discipline (as of every virtue) that its practice is supposed to be somewhat painful and only if it is painful can it be "good". The East has recognized long ago that that which is good for [wo]man--for his body and for his soul-- must also be agreeable, even though at the beginning some resistances must be overcome."
Also--"Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love."
I need to meditate more, practice being without distraction or thoughts. No books or music or other people. And this book is making me think I want to do this, as well.
One other thing--I saw Gabriel Cousen's house. It's just a small, modest white house, looking like any other around here, down the street from the Tree. It's very nice to know he doesn't have a Bikram-sized ego (he is the founder of Bikram yoga, and has a huge ego, flaunts all his money, and tries to copyright yoga poses). I found out what happens to money here--apprenticeships break even (the food is very high quality, and expensive) and guests' money is put back into the Tree. They recently redid the spa area and will be setting up a juice bar community members can visit, with solar paneling that can provide for the town when there are short blackouts. So it is ridiculously expensive, but at least it goes to the community. I would love to come back with my lover for the Intimate Relationships workshop.
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