more personal updates

Yesterday I got a colonic. I am not sure if they are needed but decided to commit to a series and really do it with an open mind, and if it doesn't work, fine, repopulate my colon with some probiotics. The lady was much better than the one I had had before, and listened to what I was saying (if there was too much pressure). It went really well and afterwards I felt like things were draining from the top into my colon (now that there was pressure released and volume reduced). She told me to take digestive enzymes. I think most likely they don't do anything, but since I am committing, I will take them and see how it goes. I have another one Thursday. She said it was like Tuesday we soaked the dishes and Thursday we'll rinse them off and should be able to get more out. I might as well while I am here.

Another thing I am doing is stopping shampoo for the month, to see how that goes (since no one cares how my hair looks here--also it is so dry I don't feel gross like I would at home). It seems that you *do* reduce oil production, but naturally we are supposed to have more oil than you do when you wash so frequently. I have actually put oil on my ends, too, since they are so fried (from what, I don't know--overshampooing I guess). Some people use conditioner or baking soda. My hair is darker than I'm used to with the oil, but I really want it to work. Avoid dry hair problems, save tons of money and time not buying and using shampoo. And best of all, my hair de-tangles so much more easily. This could make my routine so much simpler. When I get home I will see what people think. I want to look normal, be able to "pass" as someone who wastes their time with all the normal shallow/consumeristic things, because that is very useful. I think if people aren't comparing it to how my hair was (which probably only I will do), it will look normal and healthy enough.

It is really nice how many people will do an hour of meditation or yoga on their own, very inspiring. I am not quite that committed yet, but probably moving in that direction. It can be nice.

My roommate's boyfriend broke up with her, so we did a girls' night with dancing, facials, and self-foot massages, and she was happy. It was nice and everything smelled great. I am a little skeptical of facial products. Apparently they have really helped her. And I love the self-pampering thing, I think the intention and time there is very important. But the quality of my skin seems dependent on my diet above all else. I have never consistently washed my face (except the last week before I left for AZ, when I was trying to use up everything I had) because I never notice a difference when I do. It is all diet and sleep and overall health. 

Moisturizing can maybe keep a face looking young... but isn't that really just a shallow attachment to youth? Is it something that really matters? Isn't my face for using and living? And if I have smile lines and wrinkles when I'm older, shouldn't I be grateful for that, that I've had the chance to be happy and smile and live? I have never found anyone to truly agree with me on these points--not completely. I feel like everyone thinks how you look is really important, in one way or another. Here less than other places, but still... I remember writing an essay at the beginning of ninth grade about how everyone says looks aren't important, but no one goes by that. It still seems to be true and it's hard because I have limited energy to care about those things. Anyway, I still think these self-care things can be nice and important, it just depends on your intention. Have positive intentions!