The NYT has a great video about this woman who had three boys and adopted a six-year old girl. I think that's so great, except that I would do it after one. Two total is plenty. From what I have heard, the idea that "what's one more?" is a giant myth and that each extra child is a lot of extra work.

I just saw a clip of something with the main character of I (heart) Huckabees. It reminded me how much I loved his character in that movie: the bike-riding environmentalist, who won't give up, even knowing how little of a difference he can make (though he succumbs to nihilism for a short while). I love that so much. It's easy to work hard for a cuase when you're naive and idealistic. It's much harder, and much more noble to work for something when you know how hard it is, and how little you might accomplish. And yet you do it anyway, because you know that doing the most you can *does* matter, and is the only thing that matters. The fact that people will continue to work for good in the face of such huge obstacles is amazing.

I am thinking right now about the landless peasant movements--they have no power but they are doing whatever they can to reclaim their land. It's beautiful. How can people in this country give up so easily, when they have so few obstacles compared to people in other countries? So many people give up their ideals and become unfulfilled cookie-cutter people. Even if you can't (or "can't") do what you had wanted to, it doesn't mean you have to give up completely.

I found one really great thing about this cell phone. You can turn it off to save the battery, and then you don't have to worry about it at all. I used to always answer my home phone, because the sound bothered me so much. I didn't turn it off (especially because I didn't have an answering machine). So this is more convenient, in that sense. But, I still prefer a landline. I will probably go back to just the landline after I move from here, if my next job allows it. I've seen people move from having a cell phone to not again. If I could find a rotary phone, even better :)

I just read and article about how America is becoming more multiracial (think Obama) and how hopefully we won't have to hear questions like "What are you?" anymore. I used to think it was an okay question, but the older I get, the more I realize that's it's just a rude question. The only purpose is to see what set of stereotypes you fit into. It was really nice to read comments from people with all sorts of backgrounds relating to this. And maybe people will start to realize that different sorts of "white" are ethnicities, too--so really, very few people are not mixed. If white-looking people were asked the same question, it would be a lot more valid and interesting, and it wouldn't feel like a way of putting people in a box.

I met a bunch of South American grad students today. We spoke Spanish and it was a lot of fun. It's motivating to start studying again. And I saw a former classmate, who is married to a South American--their kids were *gorgeous*. It made my biological clock tick! But it is much more responsible, and fair, to have children when I am more mature.

Slowly I am seeing my reaction to things improve between meditation sessions, the longer I have been meditating. There are still highs and lows, but the lows aren't as often and are not taken as seriously, and the highs are better. Sleep helps so much, too. It makes my meditation more effective and makes life so much more livable. Sleep deprivation induces a depression for me that goes away as soon as I get enough sleep.

I have lots of things coming up. Lots of research to do as always, learning about weeds for a couple different things, the Ithaca Festival is this weekend. I also need to go looking for berry bushes, which will have berries in about a month. I like having a lot of variety. Even the best thing is boring when it's the same. Differences challenge me and are a lot more interesting.

I really like this post I found, http://soulsasylum.org/?p=96#more-96. Part of it is here:

Most of them fear that word (contentment) because they ultimately associate it with being lazy or not improving themselves.

The definition of contentment (from dictionary.com):

The state of being satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

According that definition, contentment has two legs. First, being content means being satsified with what you have. Satisfaction does not mean that you are lazy or have no drive. For example, when you eat until you are satisfied, that does not inherently mean that you’ll never eat again. It means that at the moment you have had your fill and are going to enjoy it.

The second leg is “not wanting more.” It’s important to focus on that word “want,” because that does not mean that you can’t strive to go beyond your contentment. It simply means that you strip yourself of the desire for more.

Desire is detrimental to your growth anyway. Desire will make you impatient, nervous, worrisome, etc. It’s your desire that gets in the WAY of your growth. So, in a sense, not being content means that you are too desirous to create clear, consistent actions with which to better yourself.

Contentment is also a way of keeping yourself in the present moment. A content person will not worry about the future or stress about the past. A content person exhibits self-confidence. A content person is not pushy, clingy, greedy, or nervous because calmness resonates throughout them. They know that no matter what has happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow they are inherently satisfied today.

peas

Today I found some peas from last year that sprouted up in the middle of a hairy vetch-rye cover crop. I ate the shoots and they were so good. The whole thing was mowed to prepare for bell peppers.

Abstract from Cultivating the future based on science, "The comparative energy efficiency of organic farming":

Organic farming is generally a more energy efficient system of food production. Comparative analyses of fifteen crop and livestock sectors indicate that UK organic farming uses around 26% less energy per tonne of output on average. The main energy saving is from the non-use of industrially produced inorganic nitrogen fertiliser. Organic farming is more energy efficient for wheat, most field vegetables, milk, red meat and pigs, but it is less efficient for poultry production.
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It doesn't surprise me that organic is not always efficient for meat. In a way, factory farming is a great system. It is the only realistic way of keeping up with Americans' insatiable appetite for meat--pack 'em in like they're any other product.

National Organization For Women Turns 39 Again

The above is from The Onion, of course.

I wanted to write something, but it's my bedtime. So, tomorrow.

From the Tao Te Ching

“The sage does not compete with anyone, hence no one can compete with him.”.

This morning was great. I had to move these little flags marking the research plots so that the tractor could pull the rotovator (which scrambles up the top few inches) through, to destroy the weeds. Then I got to move them back. It was low stress, and I got to walk around outside--a very simple, nice time.

I also got to gather edible weeds for my green juice. It's so fun.

It's just Wednesday and I already I look pretty different--much darker. I need to remember sunscreen, my sunhat, and longer sleeves. I am aging my skin rapidly! But it just never hurts, so I never remember. I'm going to try to now--last year I really didn't even make an effort. I am convinced that eight hours of sun isn't really good for you, despite what some say. No sun is bad, but the main proponents of "you can never get too much sun" look really sun-weathered.

A new guy started with us, and he dislikes cars as much as me. It's actually too bad, because it means he doesn't enjoy driving, meaning I have to keep taking my turn. I think I scare him with my driving, though. He had a car in high school and so drives like a normal person. The bulk of my driving experience is right now, and so I drive like a scared senile cat (or some other animal that was not meant to be in a car). Anyway, it's nice to have new people to talk to, and people with some intelligence about issues. Most people I meet, in general, have some sort of intelligence. People don't seem shocked by my views much (though of course I do always water them down--but even watered down, they are a little alternative, since I am a bad faker). Where are all the people who voted for McCain? Maybe in the south, I've never been there...

Perfect weather for farming! Sunny and cool in the mornings, 70s in the day. The new crew is starting, so I don't have to be alone. Luckily people attracted to research in organics are a lot more interesting than other people.

On the weekends, I've been sleeping nine or ten hours a night--so great! I think I have to go to bed at ten to feel really good waking up at seven. When I don't sleep, I notice my meditation isn't very good (because it is so hard to concentrate and not fall asleep), and I don't the good calm afterwards. So off to bed in a few hours, then!

From the Happy Herbivore:

15oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
2 bananas
1/3 cup agave nectar
1/4 cup cocoa
1 tbsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla extract
a few drops mint extract *optional
1/4 cup raw sugar **optional
1/4 cup quick/instant oats
chocolate chips *optional
chopped walnuts *optional

1. Preheat 350F
2. Combine all ingredients, except oats, in a food processor or blender
3. Blend until smooth, scrapping sides as needed
4. Stir in the oats
5. Pour into a greased 8×8 in pan
6. Bake approx 30 minutes, toothpick test
7. Allow to completely cool before slicing
** if you find these brownies are too soft or too fudgey, add another 1/4 cup oats or flour

I did stevia instead of agave, and almond flavoring instead of mint, and no oats. They needed to be cooked for a long time and were more like fudge than brownies... I liked them that way. But I always preferred undercooked food--undercooked rice, undercooked noodles, cookie dough and cake batter. It's funny :)

The season has started! I like research SO much more than classes. Today we took soil samples and discussed next steps to take. Tomorrow we'll take weed and cover crop biomass samples, and two new student helpers will start. The weather is great and I love working outside, getting tired and dirty. Much better than being inside all day, begging to look outside the window. But also reminded me why I don't want a garden! You get tired standing all day!

The Obama machine is brilliant. He is just as pro-war as any other president, but because he is president, and uses lots of pretty words, the peace movement is complacent with him as the figurehead. One of his first acts was to approve bombing Pakistan--brilliant! So glad I stayed true to myself and didn't vote for him. If McCain had won, the only difference would be the beneficiaries of some of the subsidies--they would have been much more "pro-business". So, same story, more flowery language. Yawn!

I made black bean brownies and were told they tasted more beanie than sweet. I couldn't taste it at all! And I was the queen of sugar in the past (I would eat tubs of frosting, as one example). I don't even like dried fruit very much anymore--too harsh and sweet. Okay, but not fresh like plain old fruit. So, to make vegan desserts palatable to a regular audience, I need guinea pigs willing to taste test for me. Anyway, the black bean brownies have a much better texture and taste than regular ones IMO. It's a success in my book!

This article about skepticism reminded me of a process I went through. Basically I found skepticism to be a crutch, a way to stay within your own belief system and never challenge yourself. It's much easier to be closed-minded than open-minded. But what is the point of a life lived like that? It makes it much harder to grow and be happier. And as the article says, so what if you're open-minded to a belief that turns out to be wrong, when you're also open-minded to other, possibly contradictory, ideas? It just shows that skepticism is rooted in fear of the unknown or fear of being wrong. That being said, it's probably a good first step for someone coming from a background of fundamentalist religion. This also has good thoughts.

When I meditate, my mind always tries to bring up things I "have" to think about. It tries to make a case for why I should let myself think about it for just a minute. It's just a lie... there is always something else. I used to hear out my arguments. Since I came back from MN, something shifted. No more--as soon as I catch myself listening to these arguments, I snap back to my mantra. There is never a good reason to even hear out my argument for why I "have to" listen. It's all a game, and I'm tired of it. I'm starting to catch myself doing this in everyday life, too.

Meditation is not as hard right now; I'm not fighting it so much. And so my back hurts less... and it's easier to run. All these things are different manifestations of the same things. The sun helps so much, too.

spring foods!

I went for a nice run today in Ithaca and gathered a bunch of wild greens to juice--very bitter but felt really good in my body. Dandelion greens, plantain and lambsquarters are everywhere, and probably less polluted compared to big cities. I also had sunchokes for the first time today (bought from the coop), raw, and they were great.

I think going home briefly was just what I needed because my back is so much more relaxed than it was before. It was nice to get away from here again and put things back in perspective. Ithaca is boring, but still very nice, and Cornell is one of the most beautiful campuses, period.

Must study, finals are nearly done.

Being back at my parents' makes me realize how much I dislike the suburbs, even a working class one. Really boring. So, even though Ithaca isn't as cool as Minneapolis, it is still progressive and beautiful and everything's within walking distance. It's not a bad place to be.

It's so fun to be back home. My parents were so surprised. It was great. I also ran into my old roommates yesterday by accident. I was so happy because I had wanted to see them but hadn't gotten ahold of them yet. It was so great. And I realized I left a year ago. A whole year. Nothing is the same.

This summer, what's going on. A new vegan restaurant is opening in Ithaca in a month or two...I want to take advantage of being Ithaca and try sailing...I will go hiking...go foraging for wild edibles... I have a CSA share... more pick-up truck driving.



But I still have a few finals when I get back. Better study.

Boston was a lot of fun, I'm still chewing on everything from there. And now off to Minneapolis. I couldn't help but think that Ithaca is a nice place, as I sat in the taxi, riding to the airport. Until we got to the strip malls. I love the city of Ithaca, but the strip malls on the outskirts are awful--I'm glad they made them put them outside, where I almost never have to see them.

Very, very sleep deprived from finals and all this travel. I'm a little concerned about this. Hopefully I will just sleep, lots.

I found a really interesting blog on integral Buddhism. It discusses things like the psychology of long-term relationship, shadow selves and sub-personalities, why we clash with others--really practical and useful. So much to think about. Of course it talks about how we have in ourselves whatever we dislike most about others. Here is discusses these aspects as disowned subpersonalities and recommends embracing those subpersonalities, but growing them and expressing them in a mature, healthy way. There are ways to let them come out, instead of being ashamed of them.

I changed my yoga practice from 20 minutes once a day to ten minutes twice a day. I don't like changing it so much--I should be more steady, but as long as I do it daily, I should get some long-term benefit. Twice a day is supposed to be good because you get the benefits throughout the whole day--where, at once a day, it peters off by mid-day. I tried twice a day before, but it was 40 mins total; too much. 20 total is good for now.

Lately I was wondering why I don't feel much peace from meditation. I used to, but not anymore. I think I dug up too much at once and am still dealing with the fallout from that. Soon, I think, it will get to be more peaceful, as long as I'm not too eager to dredge up more than I can handle.

Now that it's not freezing out, I keep making banana ice cream with my juicer (the homogenizing feature), it is so good.

More reasons to meditate.

I've been thinking lately about why I went vegetarian. The past couple years, I've heard a lot about factory farming, and going vegan to "reduce suffering". But that wasn't why I went vegetarian, and that's not why I am opposed to animal testing and other abuses. I am against unnecessary farm. Buying meat from a small farm still promotes unnecessary harm, and unnecessary violence. It's an issue because I could easily get non-factory farmed meat. But is it necessary? No, I know it would be wrong of me to do, because I know better. I have to deny a part of myself to engage in such practices. Sure, if it is necessary, it is a different story. People also can be driven to practices such as cannibalism and infanticide in certain situations, but it's not pertinent to my situation. So, it's disingenuous to say it's about factory farms and the quality of an animal's life--that's just the tip of the iceberg for me, I see being vegan as an extension of the peace movement; avoiding harm when possible.

Boston was fun, I was mostly in Cambridge. Just walked around, went to my conference. Lots of good ideas there.. I am still chewing on them. Ithaca is small but beautiful and people are nice. Just so much slower-paced than I am used to. I wish finals were over...