cleansing

Apprentices and other staff are not supposed to do any heavy detox or fasting--but of course everyone is detoxing big time, at least when they first come. In addition to a 100% raw diet, we are in clean, fresh air, get lots of sunshine, and are in an emotionally supportive environment: meditation, yoga, spiritual dance, people who understand and relate, and more. We are in our own little world, our own cocoon.

One interesting thing is that, despite all the oily, nut-heavy dishes they serve, everything is much improved--skin cleared up, allergies improving, digestion improving, no unpleasant body odors, etc. Everything that happens when I eat well. And I haven't gained weight (I haven't lost any winter weight either--and you could easily gain on this type of food--but I would have expected to gain how I've been eating). 

I have really needed this. I had been overeating dried fruit and air-popped popcorn before I came. Lots of green juices, as well, but it wasn't enough to off-set the junk. Plus all that vegan gourmet junk I ate the weekend I was in NYC. So my skin broke out, my period was more difficult, I felt more sluggish, digestion bad, etc. All that is gone now, or minimized. I have been needing lots of sleep, which seems like a healthy part of recuperating. 

Do I feel different eating all raw, compared to just healthy (with lots of raw)? I really don't know. I never purposefully ate all raw, thinking that way makes me anxious, and I don't really care. Maybe I've eaten all raw for a week without trying, but it was never anything I kept track of. As long as the cooked food is wholesome food like lentils or steamed kale and I don't overeat, I don't get problems, and those foods are also good for grounding (while with raw you have to go for heavier foods for grounding effects). But undoubtedly, nothing makes me feel better than fresh greens. They are magic.

I am actually used to the food by now. What I mean is, I don't feel compelled to eat everything, like I did the first week. The fact is, there is tons of unique, delicious food all the time. So much that I can't try it all and I don't pretend I can anymore. I might miss some things, but there will be other good foods. I also miss my old meals of simple, cut-up veggies. So, realizing that I don't have to eat it all, I actually green juice fasted last Saturday and water fasted for my colonic today. I felt so good afterwards (the colonic went very well) that I wanted to enjoy the space and ended up not eating all day. I feel very serene. And it was even a chef's day, this woman created all this unique Indian food. It smelled exactly like authentic Indian food and everything was ooing and aahing over how excellent it was. I thought about trying it, but enjoyed how I was feeling. Just like cooked Indian food, while spiced very well, it had way too much oil (oil is just refined fat! like sugar and flour are refined carbohydrates! I prefer nuts/seeds) and looked very heavy. Yes, it was my one chance at delicious raw Indian food. But there will always be more delicious food available. The idea of scarcity is a myth right now. I need to practice non-attachment.

So, despite the detox, I feel great. It is great to feel junk clearing from your system. When I have intense feelings (physical or mental), I just go with it, and let it flow. I suspect that replacing raw nut burgers with steamed kale and chickpeas would allow the same cleanse (and probably digest more easily). But I'm impressed, the raw nut burgers are noticeably healthier than any cooked version, even if large amounts are still not ideal.

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I also started to read "The Raw Life" by Paul Nison and don't recommend it. He relates changing your diet to a boxing match--you must defeat "Meat Man" and "Dairy Man" and other men. Not the right attitude, in my opinion. I am not interested in Meat Man and don't need to fight him.

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The lady who did my colonic talked today about the importance of being sure of who you are with before you have children. Make sure you really, really like them. And that you like their parents. Because they may turn into their parents after having kids, and you may turn into yours. Interesting. She has two young girls and is apart from their dad, and it's a lot of work. She is a kind lady and the colonics are positive experiences.