One thing I've watched myself think a lot is: why are they trying to make me do something I don't want to do!?

I think this very frequently. It goes: someone tells me something. I think: I don't want to! Anger wells up. Why do I have to do this? I don't want to do this? Why are they trying to make me do this? I hate it! How can I get out of this? How can I get out of this long-term? I hate this and I won't do it.

This pattern has been in me for as long as I remember. Since I was three, probably sooner. I think it goes deeper than just being bossed around as a child. But the reason doesn't necessarily matter. What matters is, this resistance to "what is" makes me miserable and I can't stand it. So I just watch the child in me have a tantrum, and maybe at some point I'll tire of it. Whatever I'm being forced to do isn't nearly as bad as what I do to myself.