back from conference

These farmers are geniuses; they do business marketing, financial management, record-keeping, science and research, looking at complex systems, making machinery, going out there and physically doing work, etc. Haaard work.

This woman said, "Oh, Ithaca, they have the most fantastic selection of restaurants," and I tried to be polite, but could not hide the shock on my face. Um, they have restaurants, yes. "Oh, um, uh, are you from a small town?" Yes, she was. When I told her where I was from, she understood. She went there once and saw a grass-fed beef stand at an outdoor jazz festival and was just blown away by the progressiveness of it all. Because most places have factory farmed meat and delis and that's it, I guess? I'm starting to feel really superior and snobby; it seems that most of the country just sucks and is really backwards. Not a good attitude to have so I'd rather admit it.

Moving has been such a bizarre experience. How can places look so same and be so different? How can some places be so backwards and why do I think I am so much better than them? I really think I am but I am sure that is not the case. I really think I was born with my values though, so I can't take credit for them. I remember thinking when I was a child--why don't my parents donate money (yes we were poor, but we couldn't donate $10 once!?), why don't we volunteer, why don't we buy organic, why don't we adopt a child that needs a family, why don't we buy the unbleached toilet paper? I couldn't wait until I lived in my first apartment. I went to the coop first thing and spent $20 a week, mostly organic and vegan. Finally I could do things more in line with my values. It sounds really great but it really all felt planned out for me. I was extremely uncomfortable before I could make all those choices (like when I was a kid and forced to eat meat--there was no nobel sacrifice on my part to stop what I hated). So to be honest, I have to thank god or my DNA or something. How lucky to be aware and more afraid of the alternative.