I am having trouble with feelings of resentment, that I have to do all this work. I miss WIC a lot (the moms and kids)--I talked to someone who did Peace Corps and she misses working with kids and adults in Spanish, too--sad just like me. I couldn't stay there, but it was good work. I'm glad I switched from nutrition to horticulture, but nutrition would have been so, so much easier. I already had done graduate level work in nutrition. Now I have to catch up for hort. Plus I miss my good friends back home, I love Minneapolis too. Anyway, so I feel resentful, but really this is just a way to force myself to learn to be happy--it is all in the mind. Plus I live by a beautiful creek with big trees, so what could possibly be bad?
Also, Tuesday morning I went to a shaman. I thought it might be nothing, just a useless white person impersonating a real spiritual experience--really I was open-minded though. And it was incredible. She communicated with the spirit world and got all sorts of information I knew to be true, dealing with past karma. I am very grateful to her.
2 comments:
Keep in mind though that the harder you work now, the better you will feel at the end when you have succeeded.
The feelings of triumph, confidence, the feeling that you actually earned something you worked really hard for, will be your reward in the end. Everything you are doing now has a purpose...and it is more than just having that degree in your hand.
I got my graduate degree.. but it was a cinch. And although I graduated with a perfect GPA, I did not feel that rewarding sense of accomplishment in the end. There is nothing like it... Nothing can replace it. You can be lazy and do well in the end (like me), but the only person you have cheated really is yourself.
Maybe that sounds lame. But remember contrasts...hard times make good times all the more sweeter.
Awesome about the shaman. It is really great that you have had so many experiences with them.
No, that's true--good perspective. I shouldn't waste these two years feeling unhappy. It's also a way of forcing myself to a new level.
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