feeling back to ....

This morning I felt so exhilarated...meditation had been taking me to new heights. I was buzzing, vibrant with all these different ideas for things I wanted to do. But by the afternoon, it felt like it had worn off completely. I did meditate a second time in the afternoon, but this was a Zen Buddhist meditation. It was good, but I didn't feel like I could completely relax because you have to kind of follow their rules. So it didn't feel like the deep nervous system/karmic cleaning that I have been getting. So by the end of the day, I just felt run-down and wanting to eat and be lazy to relax, like I always do. Eating is a valid desire, but needing it to relax feels very dulling. It makes it hard to think about other things. If I really want to break out of old patterns, I just have to commit to my meditation practice full-force and not stop. (One thing to be said for the Zen meditation--I was very calm afterwards even though I was running late to the meeting at my own house).

I almost forgot--one reason I am so tired is that I have been so buzzed that I haven't been sleeping as much at night. It's crazy to feel like that, it's better than drugs. They say that people who are very advanced at meditation have a reduced need for sleep since they are stressing their body and mind yet. But I am not anywhere near there yet, and would like a good nine hours some night....

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I hosted a book club for the sustainable ag group, and we talked about futures markets. It's incredibly confusing. How do you even have such a bizarre system with a tangible product that people need to survive? How on earth is a farmer supposed to figure it out? In addition to the complex agricultural ecosystem you have to try and keep healthy while getting good yields, and doing careful record-keeping, most farmers also have full-time jobs to make enough money to keep their land and everything. How are they supposed to add economic literacy to the mix?

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I haven't made it to the Eco-Village yet. It seems so far away because it's in the town of Ithaca but not the city. I think I'd have to take a bus there, or get a bike with gears. Fall is amazing here though. There are things to do and see, I just have to do them.