post-san pedro

I´m not sure how to talk about my San Pedro experience. At this point I need to integrate everything I´ve learned with real life. I´ve done a lot in the past few weeks, I learned so much the other day... I had an extremely difficult time because my mind really likes to be in control. I had to take extra and be hit real strong. My mind was frantic, I have such a hard time letting go. It was good for me, but so so hard, I felt very desperate. Honestly, my mind is very smart and I need to learn to use it only when appropriate. Otherwise it tortures me. It´s a real curse in many ways. Roman was very very smart at letting go and being in the experience. For me, it was easier said than done. It´s much easier to say you will let go than do it. I couldn´t figure it out until now. Now my mind is just a bit quieter than it was before. And I have learned a lot.

One thing I was told after, that was nice to hear, is that sitting meditation is probably not right for me, not as a regular practice. My mind will just continue and not be forced to quiet at all. A moving meditation, like trance dance, is a much better spiritual practice for me personally.
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I had some stomach trouble for the first time last night. I think it´s because I had some tap water I wasn´t supposed to. I had fifteen drops of grapefruit seed extract in good water and it went away easily (though it´s very bitter). People who fear getting sick in another country are really just attrecting it to themselves. No one else seems to get very sick here.

http://www.ayahuasca-wasi.com is the website of a curandero I had my fourth, and most difficult ayahuasca experience with. They have some beautiful songs on their website (his wife also helps with ceremony).